Rant mode = on (again)

Ok, I think this is going to be one of those long rants about utter crap again... so if you don't like reading, you better go here or something.

So today, I was just in one of those "I-don't-give-a-fuck" moods, I really could not be bothered doing much (so I didn't). Sadly, I spent most of my day browsing the web and doing household chores (yes... I know how to do laundry! And shortly I will give myself a go at cooking too, no seriously, my pancakes are awesome!). I honestly don't know why I am feeling so down today, I'm not usually like this.

For those of you that care to keep up with my personal life, I just got out of a 3.5 year relationship 6 weeks ago, and lost my job about 3 months ago. That about covers the two most dramatic things that have happened since my last post...

You know, I was just reading a blog that belongs to a friend of mine , and went of on a tangent, visited some websites, and had some more thoughts.

As a result of all this thinking and reading, I have now been posed with a question to ask.
What if.. Jesus was not real. What if the gospels written all those years ago, were for a poetry competition, or if they were written as part of a fictional series akin to The Da Vinci Code and Virginia Andrews' Flowers in the Attic series ?

[Ok two points to note here are:
1) I am an atheist, and I dont really give a crap, but I thought it was an interesting point to ponder nonetheless; and
2) I got to use the word "akin" in a sentence, which I have been planning all day believe it or not...]

So, this moves me on to my next point.
What if life just plain and simple sucks? No matter where you are, what you've done, what you're planning to do, where you're going... chances are that you will either be happy at the moment, or are feeling like shit because of something or someone.
I often wonder about things like that, like would I be happy if I went off and did , or would it make me feel happy because I accomplished but afterward made me feel .

Ok so I'm confused about where I was really trying to go with that... I guess I just wanted to say life sucks in some aspects at the moment, and yet again it rocks in some other aspects. I guess that's why I'm confused ?!

If the above two paragraphs are too random to understand, don't worry, I don't think I even know what I'm talking about.

Moving right along to go and take a sip of my coffee! Oh crap, cups empty. BRB.

K sweet, coffee cup is filled again.

In the meanwhile I've lost my train of thoughts and I guess you will now have to be patient and wait until I get it back.